‘I genuinely couldn’t give a f*ck about me’ – Wrexham star Paul Mullin opens up on son Albi’s struggles with autism & admits his worries off the pitch can hit him like a ‘cannonball’

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Paul Mullin admits he “couldn’t give a f*ck” about himself, with son Albi and his struggles with autism the most important thing in his life.

The prolific Wrexham striker has forged quite the reputation for himself in recent times, with a 47-goal haul last season helping to fire the Red Dragons to promotion back into the Football League.

Mullin is a firm fan favourite in North Wales – with Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney among his many admirers – but the 29-year-old is eager to point out that events and challenges away from the pitch will always be his top priority.Mullin, whose famous ‘A’ hand signal goal celebration offers a nod towards his young son, has said in his new autobiography ‘My Wrexham Story’:

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“People say going to an autism discussion group will help me, but I’m not arsed about me. The last person I’m arsed about in this whole situation is me. I genuinely couldn’t give a f*ck about me. I care about Albi. I spend every minute thinking about how I can help him overcome barriers that he, as a child, can’t foresee.

As soon as I work out he can jump one, in my head the next one appears. Sometimes the worry hits me like a cannonball. I sit on the couch and cry. Or I’ll watch him when he’s asleep and feel wave after wave of emotion.

I don’t know why, because I don’t care that he’s autistic.”Mullin added: “What I am, though, is scared. For him, not me. Not knowing how it affects him is what I hate. Does it affect him? Does it not? Does he care? Does he not? I’m constantly trying to get inside his head and sometimes I just hit the wall.

It’s as if my own head has split open and a flood of emotion has come pouring out. If one week he isn’t as vocal as the one before, I’ll feel a massive weight of guilt – it’s my fault. Those emotional episodes are necessary in a way, because when I wake up the next day I feel ready to go again.

The other side of me is back – I’m on the train again. My focus is there, and it’s a positive focus. ‘You’re being stupid,’ I tell myself. ‘You spend so much time with him that you do know how he works. You know what’s inside his head.’”

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